Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Why Can't I just be Happy??
Have you ever wondered why it seems as though when you have finally reached your happy place something seems to go wrong. I feel that this is the story of my life, as soon as my relationship is going well, I lose a few pounds, find a hairstyle that I love, buy a new pair of shoes, accomplish something great at work, or pass a test, someway, somehow it all goes wrong.
I have been wondering why this always happens, and I know I am not alone. I just had to come to grips with my own reality, I am constantly finding a way to tell myself that this can't be real, I can't actually be this happy. Everyone has experienced some form of disappointment.....you may have been cheated on, you may have thought you were doing a great job on a project and it sucked, you studied your butt off for a test and failed with flying colors, or you may be at the point where you feel that you can't do anything right.
Why is it that disappointment is comforting. Why can't I just stay happy???? Why do we resist being happy? Like it really doesn't make sense to me. We all have experienced self-sabotage, and if you haven't you might want to think about it again. For some reason we equate disappointment with being normal. We constantly hear that everyone has to lose sometime, or that you can't always be right and it triggers something in us that makes it uncomfortable to be happy. Weird I Know!! For example, what is the first thing you think of when you see someone walk into a room with their head held high, a fly outfit, accompanied by a walk that screams "Hello World I'm Here?" CONCEITED!!! Of course, I myself have been call conceited a number of times. Why is so wrong to be confident and proud of who you are or feel happy to be you. This is just one example of how others can make you re-think being happy. If you are the bomb.com to you, then you are, why does someone else have to validate you?
So many people aim to be "People Pleasers" this gets you absolutely no where. If you continue to try and please and impress others and not yourself you will end up broke, alone, and depressed. Why spend money on lavish clothes, a car that you can't afford, shoes that cost more that your rent, to please somebody else.You have to aim to achieve your own happiness, as long as you are happy that is all that matters. The tough part is staying happy and resisting the urge to sabotage it.
So after reading this you might wonder how exactly do you achieve and MAINTAIN happiness?
Glad you asked.......first you must define your level of happiness, everyone is different and what might make one happy might not make you happy. After you have defined your "happy place" accept the fact that disappointment is OK, but it is not the end all. Maybe you could perhaps be good at something, or maybe just even be successful? Who would have thunk it??? In this instance practice certainly makes perfect, practice and visualize being happy. The more that you practice feeling good about yourself and being happy the easier it becomes to accept it as a reality. It may sound crazy but talk to yourself and tell yourself that you can do anything that you put your mind to.
There are so many things that I want to do in life and I refuse to let myself get in the way. It's one thing for my friends, and family to not support me, the least I can do is support myself.
at 2:19 PM