Motivational Mondays is a time when Amber and I will be reflecting different topics to get us started for the week.
Love is a feeling and an action.
In response to a blog post by Dr. Lil today I said that love is a feeling and an emotion. His post was based upon the quote "Love is what u make of it and with whom u make it." This hit home for me, especially since Mr. Man and I had been arguing all of last week. This had never happened before in our relationship. We normally disagree, talk it out, and move on... all within 24hours. This particular disagreement lasted from Sunday until Friday night. I don't want to air my own personal laundry, but I do want to speak about love and how it changes.
I used to always say that I would love harder in each relationship that I got into. Meaning that I would love the following person "more" and stronger than I did the previous. Today, I feel that I made that statement in error. Each relationship needs to be looked at as a stand alone time in your life. The way you love changes in each relationship and the way you express love changes in each relationship. Thus making it hard to compare your own relationships and those of your partners.
When you date someone who has a past, it is hard not to try and measure yourself up to that relationship. You want this new relationship to be bigger and better than the last. Knocking all of the ex's out of the water because their love couldn't have possibly measured up to what you are experiencing now. However, after a discussion with Amber today and after reading Dr. Lil's blog, I feel a bit differently. Rather than worrying about being bigger and better than the last, we should focus on the love we are experiencing in the present. As long as we feel loved and appreciated, through the feeling and by displays of love, we should be happy. The past is the past for a reason, be it negative or positive, and the focus should be on developing a great future.
Now if the past is affecting the future, that is a WHOLE different issue, but if not, then keep it moving. Focus on loving each other and being happy together.