Do your peers tell you that you look fine but you just cannot fathom why they feel that way?
Are you self-conscious about the way your body looks in front of others or during sex?
Do you or have you had previous issues regarding your weight?
Personally, I can easily answer "YES" to all of these questions. I am constantly worried about the shape of my body and how I look. Not in a way that is narcissistic, but in a way that is more self-conscious. What aggravates me most is that women tend to suffer from this issue more than men. The picture above is accurate depiction of how the male vs female scenario normally works out. Beer belly and all, and the man still thinks he is the next Morris Chestnut. Meanwhile we have the Heidi Klum look-a-like thinking that she looks more like Rosie O'Donnell. It's really tragic.
I have tried to make a conscious effort to really look at the way I feel about myself. My tragic flaw is that i am always waiting to be XYZ before I do something that I want to do. I feel that I cannot look/dress super fly until I am smaller. I cannot be as outgoing as I would like until I am skinny. I cannot be confident with my fiance sometimes because I am not pretty enough. I won't put myself in situations where I may embarrass myself because I am afraid of looking terrible. Most of all, I am afraid that I will be judged and looked at differently as a result of the way I look.
How do I change this? I am trying to use positive enforcement. In my counseling classes, I have heard a lot about using mantras to help combat a fear. Whenever I am feeling scared, not confident, feeling ugly or stupid, ect... I recite the following phrase.
I am strong
I am safe
I am beautiful
And God will protect me
Surprisingly, I really feel that this helps me stay calm and focused. Does anyone else struggle with this?
All the time. I refuse to go shopping anymore because it's just depressing. I think I look horrible in everything that I try on. I feel like it's not possible for me to look nice because I feel so fat and gross. I refuse to take pictures because i know they are going to be horrible. Ugh. I really need to work on this area as well. But it is definitely tough.
ReplyDeleteNicole,
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU FOR SHARING! I can only imagine that it was just as hard for you to write the comment as it was for me to write the post. It feels so good to know that I am not alone.
If you try the mantra, please let me know if it works for you too. I'm a big believer in things working if you tell yourself it is going to work. It has definitely helped me.