Tuesday, March 12, 2013

#50in52 Week 24: I have committment issues....still


Weight loss is hard. Like, really hard. I feel like I am literally just repeating myself every week when I check in, but hey, blogs are about the journey. Every word I type on my #50in52 posts is part of my journey so I will share it.

I am FINALLY beginning to feel like I am making some progress. No where near as much progress as I would really like to see, but I know deep down what I need to do. I need to completely revamp my eating. I have been having some digestive issues, which I won't elaborate on since it's kind of gross, and I know I can fix them with diet... I just have to do it.  Every time I hear about a new plan, regime, workout, you-could-have-been-skinny-yesterday fix, I pause and ask myself if I really need it. Just today I messaged a NPC Bikini Competitor, whose body is CRAY, to check her rates for online personal training and meal plans...and she was out of my range. The old me would have jumped on the bag wagon, credit card in tow, and paid her anyways. KNOWING that I would probably adapt the plan to fit what I normally do.
I make soooo much sense, right?
The powers that be say that the definition of insanity is doing the same mess over and over again, expecting different results. Well, that's me! Except I sell myself on that I am really doing something different....since I did purchase it, hear about it, was recommended it by someone new. But I change it to be something old. 

Yes...I sound cray. I just came to this realization when I was speaking with Amber about wanting to by the online plan. Like the quote says above...I am on a plateau. But for me, I believe it is mental first...and then manifests itself physically.

I think deep down I am afraid to fully do everything in my power to lose weight. If I lose the weight, then what? I've been the girl trying to lose weight "seriously" for about 2 years now. 2 YEARS!!! When will I be ready to be the girl who LOST a substantial amount of weight?

Have you ever felt like this before?


  1. You are speaking right to me right now. I can so identify with what you are saying. My cousin is a bikini competitor and wrote out a program for me. I start it Monday. You should contact her and see if she is in your range. Facebook her Cynthia Gonzales Fitness.

    It does have a lot to do with your mentality. We become so identified with the "old me" and feel afraid to step out on faith and test what we are really made of.

    Great post. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Thanks Monica! It feels good to know I am not alone. Are you thinking of competing?


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