Who you are?

Lately, I have felt overwhelmed in my personal life and in my relationship. Working full time, going to school full time, trying to loose weight, planning the wedding, and having a positive meaningful romantic relationship in the midst of all this is strenuous. (Especially since Mr. Man and I have been going through it a little bit lately.)

I often feel like I give too much of myself in relationships; forgetting about what makes me happy. I feel as if I have forgotten some of the things that I used to do to make me happy and replaced them with activities or characteristics that make my friends, family, fiance, ect happy. Last week in Boston, I purchased a journal so I can start doing some reflective writing to help clear my mind.

Writing tends to help me see patterns in my feelings so I can make a change to be happier. I had a lot of feelings that honestly spoke to me having a little bit of low self-esteem at the moment. This weight loss thing has taken a toll on how I feel about myself. (IE. I feel good when I lose a pound and I feel like nothing when I gain or don't see changes.) I have been working extremely hard at my eating and the gym and I haven't seen too much progress lately. To make matters worse, Mr. Man has made some not to amazing comments about my body (not intending malice, or course) but he doesn't know how sensitive I am about it now; thus resulting in resentment and negative emotions on my part. I think that you (being the readers) have probably seen my posts as being all over the place as well. I know something is up, but I am trying to figure out how to fix it so I can feel better. AND I do not want to make myself feel better by spending money on food, clothes, or hair/nails!

I know most women have a time when they are just feeling yucky/unmotivated/depressed/sad/ ect, and this is just mine.

I saw a post today by one of my fav bloggers, Jessica Ralph, and hopefully it will help anyone else our there looking for a little guidance or a pick-me-up.