I am notoriously self-sabotaging myself along my weight loss journey.
I have a certain number about 10lbs from my starting weight that always trips me up. When I hit that number, my body starts to gain weight immediately. However, I am not really being honest with myself when I make that statement. I start to self-sabotage myself after I get to the 10 lb mark. Every. Single. Time.
I don't even understand why. After reading countless blogs, listening to podcasts, and talking to people who are also on a weight loss journey I am realizing that I must not want to lose weight that badly. If I did, I would be doing it. I wouldn't indulge myself and eat Subway cookies at work when I am upset because the momentary satisfaction that I would receive from the cookie would not outweigh my determination to be successful at this weight loss journey. I was reading a wonderful blog the other day, I can't remember the name of it, but when I do, I will come back and edit this post. But one of the writers basically said that you need to suck it up and just do it. If you want to lose the weight and reap all of the positive benefits of losing excess weight you have to work hard and push through all of the negative times. Point blank. There is no easy way out. No "magic" formula that you can use to cut corners. Jillian Michaels always says it is mathematics. Calories in versus Calories Out. There are no plateaus; a stop in weight loss is due to changes that you make not to work as hard unless there is a medical condition preventing the weight loss. YOU MUST SACRIFICE. Eating that Subway cookie should not be more important that feeling amazing in my wedding dress or living a healthier, happier lifestyle that will allow me to live longer.
So after all this ranting and raving, am I ready to lose the weight? I want to be ready. (I know, horrible, right?) I need to have the dedication. And commit to not allowing myself to back down. I definitely want the weight loss, but I need to be able to commit to making the steps to do so. For now, I KNOW that I am going to try. Hopefully through blogging and journaling, I will be able to find some inner strength to keep me going. After all this journey is only about me and my own actions.